Those who follow my blog, know that last year I decided to change my life by being more positive and happier. Not that you can instantly change from one day to another, but I summed up a few actions that would make me happier and more positive and guess what? They worked out for me!
You’re responsable for everything that happens
I changed a lot over the past year. The main thing is I realized you’re the only one in life who can make you happy. Happiness doesn’t depend on others. Happiness mainly consists of how you look at life and your experiences (the good and the bad). Seeing things from a more positive side made my life easier and made me stronger. In the end you’re the only one responsible for everything that happens in your life. And what’s more important; how you handle it. (also know your flaws and work on them, don’t keep making the same mistakes)
Halfway 2016 I stepped off the plane from Croatia and got a phone call from my former manager saying my employer went bankrupt and we were all on the street. I didn’t have to go back anymore. I had no more job. I was in shock! We had to sign a paper to confirm we were willing to work for the buyer of the company. About half of the employers would be able to return. I signed the paper so that if I got chosen, I would be in a comfortable situation to find a new job. Because no way I wanted to work for the former management that sent the company to the gutter (they got to stay). But I didn’t get a phone call with the message they were happy to take me back. I only got a call from my former manager saying she felt bad that I wouldn’t be there anymore and from ONE other colleague who also said she was so sorry. I cried that day, A LOT. But then something happened to me that wouldn’t have happened a year earlier.
Turn something negative into something positive
I woke up the next day with the thought that I could do better than that. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to find a better job. I told myself that one closed door opens another. I put my CV online, applied for jobs and I was so self assured that I didn’t even have nerves going to job interviews. I just kept being me. Nothing too formal, just me. I kept believing in myself, telling myself my former employer was the one who lost and that I would be the one being better off. I was happy and grateful for the opportunities I got. I turned something negative into something positive. One month and a half later I found my current job… (and I still couldn’t be happier, because I love it)
Your thoughts are your worst enemy
That experience proved I already changed a lot compared with the previous year. And the change continued. I kept doing things out of my comfort zone. Being afraid didn’t hold me back from doing anything. Afraid of heights? Yes, but that didn’t stop me from standing on a narrow cliff and enjoy the wind in my hair. I just do it. With trembling knees, yes, but still, I do it. I’m sick of holding back or getting stuck in life because of fear. After all fear is only something in the mind. It’s your own thoughts that are your worst enemy. And it’s not only fear.
Focus on the positive influence(r)s
By changing into a better version of me, I also started thinking about external factors that make me happy or less happy and decided to focus more on the positive influence(r)s in my life and to reduce the bad influence(r)s. This really helps to make me feel happier. Bad influence(r)s only get me frustrated. Every weekend I make plans with people with the right mindset to have fun and it’s great! Positive attracts positive and it’s always fun to meet new people. And that’s why I decided to travel solo this year.
I smile
I feel I get more out of my travels when I go on my own. I already experienced it when I went by myself to Istanbul and I want to experience it more. People started to talk to me way faster. I got treated better and even got discounts other people didn’t receive (no kidding). Even during lunch or dinner I was never alone. Waiters kept me company and I even got invited by a group of Philipinos for dinner and had the best time! And all because I treated people with respect. I say hi, goodbye, thank you, please to everyone, I’m interested in other people’s stories and… I smile. It’s as simple as that, but not everyone is like that… I wish more people would be like that.
Freedom & independency
The feeling of being completely free is something I really love. By yourself you’re more focused on the moment itself and your surroundings. I can sit somewhere on top of a mountain and enjoy absolute silence. I’ll be hiking on my own and overcome my fears of heights and narrow spaces (On Madeira it can get very steep and narrow and I will have to walk through tunnels with a flash light, I bet those videos will get very interesting :D) and I will have to do it all on my own! Which sometimes terrifies me and excites me at the same time. But being able to be independent from anyone and just renting a car to go where I want to go at my own pace, that’s the ultimate freedom.
Evolve
All I want to say is; it’s never too late to take your life into your own hands and be happy. Feeling unhappy? OK, cry one more time and then pick yourself up and start thinking positive. Get the most out of everything. Opportunities are everywhere, but you need to be willing to see them. Everyone is capable to change and to evolve. You just need to do it. After all, life is too short to get stuck in the comfort zone and routine. Don’t get stuck because you’re not happy, don’t believe in yourself or don’t want to learn. Evolve and be happy!
Siddharth Sinha says
Hi
Awesome thoughts, very well written. I too feel that negative thoughts are our worst enemy, change within and life is beautiful outside.
Joelle F says
Exactly! and thanks! 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
I love the way you think. I’ve only travelled solo once but it was life changing for sure! I’m looking forward to travelling more on my own in the future.
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog